God is good.....

Just a quick update...

I just found out today that our friends, Tim and Jess, are pregnant.  She's announced it to the world via her blog (http://countryfamilyrobinson.blogspot.com/2009/05/wanna-hear-secret.html) so I figure it's ok for me to share too.  :)  Anyways, she had shared with me a little of their journey trying to conceive and today, and their news, just proves prayers are answered.

Now I'm not saying I didn't believe in God before now.  All I'm pointing out is that times like this are when you know he really listens and cares about good people.  As you'll read her post (if you're so inclined), the "other" Robinson family got their news on what couldn't be a better day of the year - Mother's Day.

So here's to Tim and Jess!

Family.....

I started receiving multiple emails today with pictures of my precious nephew Nate.  It's absolutely amazing to see the joy of parenting my sister is experiencing through the photos she shares and her thoughts of those moments captured in time.

I look forward to the day when he is moving so much and so quickly that the shots we get are few and far between, though I will miss the days of feeling like I know most of the inner workings of his regular activities.

And just as everything does, this too shall fade and pale in comparison to the joy of seeing my grandparents with him for the first time, or seeing my dad succomb once again to holding this tiny person in his hands, though we all know it's not something he's done in more than 20 years.

All in all, I'm very blessed to be able to love this child and call him family.

Mindless numbing....

This weekend has been a whirlwind of activity, and yet nothing was accomplished!  Thursday I got news that Jenna is engaged.  She was so excited, and it was great to hear the story.  Fredy is one awesome planner.  Friday was an early day at work, but I still went non-stop from 8AM till 4PM.  I got home and spent the afternoon getting ready for the festivities.  Saturday we had a crawfish boil and an Astros game.  Like usual we were running behind everywhere we went.  Today was another Astros game and they opened up the All-Star ballets.  Minute Maid park is encouraging voting by offering prizes for filling out 50, 200, 500, 1500, and 3000 ballets.  Jakob decided that 3000 is the way to go, so we walked out of the park today with 1200 ballets to fill out.  We've spent the better part of the night punching ballets, and haven't even made a dent in the progress.

All in all, it's been a good weekend.  I enjoy staying busy and having things to do, but I am looking forward to resting now.

On another note, I planted flowers a week or so ago, and they are doing great.  By nature I have absolutely no predisposition for growing things, or keeping them alive once they are given to me.  This should be an experiment in my ability to actually contribute to the beauty that is my landscape.

This post is much less deep than the first, mostly because I'm in a more boring state of mind.  I'm hoping to have some inspiration strike soon....

First Draft....

So, here's the thing.  I'm not much of a writer...unless I'm angry or have nothing else to do.  By definition, this means I may have set up a blog that will disappear in a matter of weeks.  On the other hand, it might catch on and you can read my rants that drone on and on about who knows what.  For anyone that has spent any length of time with me knows that I can talk your ear off.  Maybe this will curb some of that socialization appetite.

Either way, it's here for as long as it wills itself to be. (And no, I don't believe it's actually capable of making a decision on it's own, and I'm not hearing voices associated with a web application.)

Well, since this is the first of an undetermined amount of posts, I'm going to take this time to be my whining moments.  I figure most people don't read the first post anyways right?

To start off, let's just say I'm a worry-wart that pays too much attention to what others are thinking or feeling (in general and specific to me) and it sometimes overruns my day.  I try to go out of my way for others and see myself as a good friend that just gets walked on......but.....I have had it brought to my attention that my own self evaluation and the reality of my relationships may be slightly (ok, in some cases drastically) different.  

I'm suprisingly okay with this realization in itself.  My issue is more how to overcome what seems to be a basic part of my personality, and allow myself to have a more complete, calm, and secure existence.  I mean, I have a great husband, a close family, and a secure job at the moment.  What more can a girl ask for?

I feel like I've went through my life being an outcast and with one (two if I was REALLY lucky) friends at a time.  Most people will tell me "good friends are better than social aquaintances, especially in small numbers" but I don't always believe that.  I have always found myself to over-cherish my friends (thus suffocating them according to my assessment) and therefore ending up lonely.  Of course, I'll occasionally find that one off, that is there no matter what is going on, and I feel secure enough to truly share with them the things that I would hope they would share with me.....which ultimately leads me to saying things that apparently it's ok to think, but never to say out loud.....

For instance, you cannot say to a "best friend" that you agree with them when they are ranting about their significant other and their fears, because then you are not being supportive but rather destructive to their relationship.  I feel like I walk on these eggshells (more like glass shards) constantly, and have not quite figured out how to keep from cutting my feet......

However, Jakob has helped to curb some of this.  He pulls no punches in telling me when my facial expressions don't match what I'm thinking, or that having friends that just ditch aren't worth it.  I've come to hold tight to a more philosphical approach in that people are in your life for a time, to teach you something, and to learn something from you.  In the end, they leave, or you do, and the reasons why may not be apparent or make sense at the time, but always show themselves later.  

I guess by that thought process, I have a lot of revelations to look forward to.....